Why can’t I make you happy?
No matter how hard I try,
It’s one thing or the other.
I’m not athletic enough…
I’m not brave enough…
My tragedy is nothing to you.
You don’t care.
Or so I feel.
You raised me,
Held my hands when I began to walk,
Were there watching me when I began to talk,
And I was there when someone joined your love,
When there was now another who was going to get your affection.
How can you just act like you don’t care?
How can you just pretend that I am not who I really am to you…?
So you just straighten everything out,
And look in me in eye,
And say that you won’t do anything anymore?
Why do you call this love?
Why do I make you happy?
What is it that I do that makes you stay?
And if I do make you happy and peaceful,
Then why can’t you love me?
Why is it,
That I wake up every morning
Knowing that I failed you,
That I failed your love,
Only to make you turn around and run in the opposite direction…
Sometimes I cry, you know?
Lying down under heaps and heaps of clothes and blankets,
Listening to all those songs we sung together,
With tears the size of giant rain drops streaming down my face,
Just as painful as tears of blood staining the area like a murder scene from a movie…
When I meet you the next day,
I managed to wipe out those stains,
Wipe out all the traces of sadness,
And I smile without it curling into a grimace,
With dry sobs fighting to get out.
And when you tuck that hair strand behind my ear,
And hold my face gently in your palm,
You ask me what’s wrong,
But, by then,
All my worries are behind me…
Why am I so confused about you?
You laugh and kiss my cheek playfully,
Run about and hug me from behind,
But when alone,
You corner me on the way to school,
Hold me firmly against the wall,
And kiss me forehead so lightly,
That butterflies seat themselves slower than that…
You watch me in his arms,
Laugh and hang out with him,
You watch me laugh and cry when things get tough.
You hold my hand and hold me in your arms,
When I am so broken I can’t breathe right.
And when I’m happy suddenly you’re somewhere else.
When I see your eyes dim with that spark of life,
If this is what you get out of unrequited love…
One will wonder,
If, at the end so the day,
You gain love or you lose love…